I have been making good headway on riding my bike. My balance is pretty good and I can go farther and faster. I was surprised about a week ago when I started having a harder time. I was winded more quickly and couldn't go as fast. It was harder to get started and I couldn't make it as far. I berated myself and told myself not to be a sissy. I pushed myself harder. I ran through the list of factors that I could think of that would make a workout harder. Wind ( which has been ridiculous the last few weeks) was one factor. Heat was another possibility since we had our first 100 degree day on May 3rd. Hills were a factor since I am taking more varied routes. I decided, though, was that the most likely scenario was that I wasn't working hard enough. I pushed myself harder and chided myself more. Then yesterday morning I decided to ride at 7:30 to beat the heat. The bike was difficult to get down the stairs and I heard an odd sound. I looked things over to locate the noise and it was a nearly flat tire rubbing on the ground. My difficulties were  not due to lack of effort or  lack of will but to equipment that was not up to par. My initial response was to take it to the gas station and air it up so I could keep riding. My husband and his logical brain stepped in and told me I needed to take it to the bike shop and get it fixed right. Don't tell him I said so, but he was right.

Sometimes my spiritual life is running along smoothly. God and I are communicating well. My ministry and work are flourishing and I am at peace with God and my family. The lock-down with Corona virus has not been one of those times. While I would love to tell you that I have been spiritual and a woman of great faith and valor during these times, it would not be the truth. I have been anxious, irritable and lonely. My technological woes have been legion. Right now I am at a public computer and have to type on a keyboard covered with a plastic bag to protect us all from germs. (Did I mention that I have been irritable?) I have had seasons of grief during this time also and told God Saturday that I didn't think He was being fair. I did the same thing I did with the bike. I told myself I needed to pray more, to give more, to trust. I said that I shouldn't question God and definitely shouldn't be angry with him.. None of these responses were any more effective than they were with the bike.The truth is that with everything going on, my spiritual equipment was not running up to par. I am not saying that praying, giving and trusting are not important. They are very important, but it is not the whole equation. We have to have God's power to do God's work. This is true whether we are running an international ministry or loving our family in close quarters.

So how do we keep our spiritual equipment in good working order?  The passage that is foremost in my mind is  Psalms 46

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress

It is tempting during times like this to feel that God has left us alone, whether we feel that way due to chaos and disease or due to wave after wave of grief. May we find the courage to run to Him, to rest in Him and to be still and know that He IS God.