Gold Stars in My Crown

Welcome to Unseen. Do you have a problem with perfectionism? Boy, I do. I want approval and I prefer to have approval for doing things perfectly. Read on for what i learned about taming this tendency.

Gold Stars in My Crown?

Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor's crown. Revelation 2:10

I have a confession to make. I love gold stars. It started early, probably even before school days. I am a middle child between two very strong personalities and I often felt overlooked. Seeing all the stickers on my chart in Sunday school gave me a good feeling, and people praised me for it, which gave me an even better feeling. School, being performance driven, fed that hunger for success and affirmation. Now there were not just stickers in my book. There were smiley faces on my papers. (My favorites were the ones where the teacher turned the zeroes from 100's into eyes and drew a smile underneath.)  There were poems and stories that I had written displayed on the bulletin board at open house. Then there were certificates and award ceremonies for academic achievements and perfect attendance. Choir was great, because it was fun and I could excel and get recognition. Track wasn't fun, but winning was!

There is nothing wrong with seeking approval and affirmation. The problem was that I carried it into every area of life and I really haven't tamed it very well. I was unreasonably happy when my supervisor put smiley faces on work that she proofread. I am doing a fitness challenge at work and yes, we actually get gold stars on our computer. I am using a Bible study app that lets you earn badges for reaching milestones. I love checking my e-mail and seeing that I have earned a new badge. The bigger problem comes when I start using this logic in my Christian life. Do I have perfect attendance at church? How many people have I led to the Lord? Have I missed a week writing my blog? Am I doing enough for God? It's not that I don't know "by grace we have been saved through faith, not through works lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:8) I am not trying to win God's approval, although that has been true in the past. I truly want to do as much as I can for God because of all he has done for me. It is really hard to remember that following Jesus is not about performance but about relationship. Paul described it this way in Galatians 3:23-25.

But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed. Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.

When we are engaging in thankless service we often say to each other, "There will be stars in you crown." This is a nice thought but it does not tell the whole story. In Revelation 2, Jesus tells the church in Smyrna Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor's crown. Revelation 2:10. In Revelation 4, though, we read a description of a scene in heaven. The four living creatures and the elders are circling the throne singing, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is and is to come." Even writing these words sends chills through me.  Then look what happens. They lay their crowns at Jesus feet. To me it shows that everything that they have accomplished for God is overshadowed by Jesus and what he has done. They feel no need for the symbol of their accomplishments. 

I need to tame my inner "box-checker"! My salvation is not dependent on what I can do for God. He promises us that he knows the things done in secret and that he will complete a good work in us. We would be happier and probably more effective if we rely more on his grace and his power than working so hard to do for him. Many times I have asked God what he wants me to do, and in my spirit I hear, "I want you to just be today." Maybe he is saying the same thing to you.

Today was a bad day! from Paul Mathis

Thank you, thank you Paul for pinch hitting this week. Today is the first day I have not felt like $#@~!!!. Paul has some wisdom for "Bad Days"

Some days, I just want it to stop.

I don’t want to have to keep putting in so much effort.

Life is hard and I don’t always think I am up to the challenge.

Some mornings, it is such an effort to get out of bed because I know I am just going to have the face the same challenges I faced yesterday. If I have already worked so hard, why do I have to keep working? If I have put so much effort into this already, why can’t I see a payoff?

And I don’t always feel like I can tell anyone.

Because, after all, I’m the guy with sobriety time. I’m the guy who leads recovery groups. I’m the guy who’s almost 40, married 17 years with 3 kids. I’m the guy who helps teach people how to discover their talents and abilities and find work. I’m the guy who leads small groups for middle schoolers, high schoolers, and adults.

So who can I tell?

I can’t show any weakness. I need to be strong. And also, won’t all these things just go away if only I have enough faith? Pray hard enough? Do more churchy stuff?

__________________________

One of the worst things about feeling that way is that we convince ourselves we cannot talk about it.

Feeling tired, feeling overwhelmed, feeling depressed is not strange. It is not sinful. It is not wrong. It happens.

And pretending it doesn’t makes it worse.

We need to create more space to talk about our difficult days. The more we talk, the less strange it seems. More than that, when we talk about it more, we realize that we are not alone in our struggle. So many of us have thought we are the only ones who feel depressed, lonely, anxious, or just sad.

But we are not. So many others have experienced the same things. When we isolate, our experience only gets worse. And isolating does something else: it allows us to convince ourselves that we are the only ones who struggle. Because when everyone is isolating, no one is sharing.

One of the most powerful, startling, and profound realizations anyone can have is, “I am not alone.” I find out I am not alone when someone has the courage to speak up and say they go through the same things I go through. Other people find out they are not alone when I muster up enough courage to speak up on my own behalf.

__________________________

Treating it like sin or weakness makes it worse.

Burdens

Welcome to unseen. Enjoy todays story about casting our cares on Jesus and look forward to a guest spot from Paul Mathis next week since I will be  having surgery Monday.

Burdens

Cast all your cares on him for he cares for you. 1 Pet 5:7

Once there was a young man who loved climbing. He was one of those toddlers who scale bookcases and became a preteen who climbed trees, then a teenager who climbed on the roof. Mountain climbing was a more appropriate use for these skills so he learned on the mountains nearby. He loved the feeling of accomplishment and the excitement of looking down at the world. For graduation, his father paid for a trip in the Himalayas. He hired a Sherpa for a guide and a llama for a pack animal. The young man showed up at base camp ready to go. He had a huge pack, a sleeping bag, canteen and safety equipment. The Sherpa instructed him to load his gear on the llama, but the young man refused, saying he was capable of carrying it himself. The started the climb and the young man quickly got tired. Again the Sherpa told him to let the llama carry his gear, but the young man refused saying the llama might not be strong enough and he might lose some of his gear. After an hour he grudgingly put his canteen on the llama but insisted he was fine with the rest. After another hour he said “I wish I could put the rest of my gear on the llama, but I am just not worthy” He put  his sleeping bag on the llama but insisted on keeping the heavy pack, saying it was too much for the poor animal to have to carry. The Sherpa explained that the animals are trained from an early age and are strong and sure footed. They climbed a while longer and the going was easier but as the air got thinner, it was harder to carry the pack. Again the Sherpa begged him to put the rest of his burdens on the animal, but  he complained that it was too expensive. The Sherpa shook his head and told the boy that the price was already paid for the llama to carry his things for him. The boy slipped gratefully out of the heavy pack and put it on the llama. He was able to make the rest of the journey with greater ease and enjoyment.

What would you have told the young man? How silly to refuse a gift and insist on carrying his own burdens. Does he sound like anyone we know, though? What kinds of excuses (I’m sorry. I meant good reasons.) do we use for not casting our cares on Jesus?  I would expect they are the same ones that the young man used. We are capable of handling it ourselves. It might not be safe to accept help. We are not worthy. It is too expensive. We might let him carry some of  our burdens but hold tightly to others out of either shame or pride. Jesus came specifically to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He came willingly and he paid the price already. We can let go of our fears, our shame and our desperate need to protect ourselves.

Jesus described this as taking his yoke upon us, ….. and we shall find rest. (Matt 11:29) Psalms 68:9 says Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens 1 Peter 5:7 says cast your cares upon you for he cares for you. Matthew 6 tells us about the dangers of worry.

Take the plunge and have the faith to give your burdens over to the Lord. The rest of your climb will be easier and more enjoyable.

Roto-Rooter

Welcome to Unseen. I had planned to post something different this morning, but when I was getting ready my old enemy resentment reared its ugly head. Deciding I might not be the only one that needed a reminder I decided to share this story on forgiveness.

Roto-Rooter

Let no root of bitterness spring up among you. Hebrews 10:5

We have all seen the public service announcements and ads for medicine on TV.”While I was building my life, plaque was building in my arteries According to my nurse friends plaque is a substance that sticks to the walls of our arteries. It keeps the blood from flowing freely, which can cause damage to the heart muscle and other tissues. It can prevent blood from getting to the brain, leading to problems with memory and speech. If a piece of plaque breaks off it can block the artery entirely  and cause a stroke if the blood is cut of from the brain. If it is cut off from the limbs, there is a danger of tissue death and even loss of the limb. Doctors use a variety of medicines to try and improve circulation and usually prescribe moderate exercise and diet change. However if the damage is too bad they are forced to resort to the infamous “roto-rooter surgery. A tiny balloon is inserted into the artery with a needle. When the balloon inflates it breaks away the plaque from the site of the blockage. The smaller pieces can then circulate harmlessly through the bloodstream.

This is not a public service announcement about our physical hearts. It is a public service announcement about our spiritual hearts. Many things can clog our spiritual heart, including guilt, shame and grief. The most common offender is resentment. Like plaque in our physical bodies, it can block the flow of God’s spirit. Personally it can damage our communication with God and cloud our judgment. In the church it has the potential to cut members off from each other, and without the connection to the rest of the body they can shrivel and even die spiritually.

What is God’s prescription for this ailment of resentment? Diet is one part of it. We are encouraged to desire the sincere milk of the word (1 Pet 2:2 and reminded that Jesus is the Bread of Life (John 6:35. We must exercise our faith, Physical training is of some value but godliness has value for all things. , holding promise for this life and the life to come. (1 Timothy 4:8) If this is not enough, we need to let God do radical work in us and take away the resentment for us. I did not believe it could happen but I have seen it in my life. RT Kendall , in his book Total Forgiveness, says that one thing that can bring about this change is when we desire communion with God more than we desire to see our enemy punished. I try to keep my resentment list short now, but I would be lying if I said it is not a continuous battle.

Resentment is one of the devil’s most destructive weapons. He will fan the flames of resentment and make it easier for us to be isolated and separated from God spirit and our spiritual family. This makes us all the more vulnerable to him. Watch your diet and exercise and if the Great Physician tell you it is time for Roto-rooter, take the chance.   

Hide and Seek

Welcome to the first Unseen of 2015. I hope your holiday was wonderful, and if it was not, I hope you are able to find the good in it. Which brings us to today's story. You're probably familiar with the "Happy Church Face" or maybe with what I call the "Swirling Vortex of Terror"(From Finding Nemo), That place where your thoughts whirl and gather steam until one nagging doubt becomes a raging storm. Both of these are responses to situations we want to hide from. Read on for lessons from a childhood game. 

Hide and Seek

The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and they are saved. Proverbs 18:10

5, 4, 3, 2, 1….. Ready or not, here I come! I heard her footsteps coming my way, and squeezed tighter into my hiding place. I tried not to make any noise, but it was hard. I heard a closet door open and hangers being scraped across the bar. Then I heard the closet door close and the footsteps coming closer. The door to my hiding place was open just a crack and I could see her tennis shoes. Cabinets and closets opened and closed. Then she turned around and left the other room, heading down the hall. I decided it was safe to try to get to base and carefully pushed open the door of my hiding place. I heard a creak and then footsteps running my way, and then the dreaded words. “I gotcha!” Hide and seek was so much fun, but we outgrew it, right?

The people in the Bible were good at hiding. It started with Adam and Eve, hiding from God in the garden (Genesis  ) . Moses hid from his secret in the desert of Midian.(Exodus) The angel found Gideon hiding in the wine press, and greeted him by saying, Hail, Mighty man of  valor.(Judges) Then David hiding from King Saul, and on and on.

I have two questions. What is your hiding place? Is it your happy church face? I like that one, myself. Maybe yours is drugs or alcohol, food, work or maybe even your bed.  Second, what are you hiding from? Is it past mistakes or secrets? Is it persecution or injustice? Is it temptation or sadness? Maybe it is responsibilities and success. Whatever you're hiding from and wherever you're hiding, the solution is the same. David knew the answer. The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and they are saved(Proverbs 18:10). Psalms 17:8 says Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 64:7 we read, "Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from the plots of evildoers. Throughout the Psalms and prophets we find God urging us to hide in Him and rest in Him, instead of hiding from him. Listen, and you can hear the Lord of Heaven and Earth say, "I gotcha"!

Guest spot

Welcome to Unseen today. Today's story is from Linnie Branton's new book Lesson's Learned from the Garden. Linnie is an artist and writer and has been a volunteer in different capacities at Faith Works and at Freedom Fellowship.  Lesson's Learned from the Garden is being released this week and there will be a book signing at the old firehouse in Clyde Saturday, December 13 from 2:00 to early evening. Linnie's encouragement and help was a great help in getting my writing started. Enjoy  her story and for more information on how to order her book or art contact me at susanmccabe26@gmail.com.

Out of Season

My flower bed is a bit confused. The flowers that bloomed in the summer have decided that enough is enough. No matter how much water I give them, no matter how warm the sun shines, they are finished. They have completed their journey. They have dropped their seed to assure that another generation will follow them. They have put down deep roots. Some will have new plants shoot up from those same deep roots come spring, the parent plant being long gone. Others will die out all the way down to the roots. The plant itself will fertilize the soil that once fed it. When finally pulled up out of the ground, the deep roots will loosen the soil as it is released to fall back into place. Seed will fall into the loose earth: water will soak into the dirt creating a perfect environment for new seed to put down new roots. This is life in the flower bed.

The confusion comes because the seasons this year have been a little out of synchronization. Spring happened quickly. Winter was cold and fierce. Then it was gone and summer came. There were no spring rains, no cool nights and mornings that gradually led into summer. There were instead days and nights of freezing dry cold and then they were gone. All at once it was summer. Days were hot and dry with no rain. Water levels dropped. Water restrictions followed.

Most bulbs bloom in the spring. They wait for the ground to soften with spring rains. They stick their little heads out of the ground in the cool nights and early mornings. They even shake of a light snow or soft freeze and bravely wake up before the sun warms the ground. They delight us with the knowledge that the cold is coming to an end and warm weather is ahead.

My bulbs missed their season this year. But now, this October has unseasonably warm days, with cool nights and dark cool morning. There has been a little rain. My bulbs have decided to bloom, out of season. I am delighted. My heart has gone back to spring. With love and gentleness I remove a few stray weeds that try to compete with my bulbs. I give them just enough water to soften the soil and bring nourishment to roots that are stretched into the fertile soil. I watch each bud and wait for the flower to open fully so I can examine its unique beauty. The calendar may say October, but my heart says spring.

I compare my life to the bulbs. I have missed a few springs. There have been seasons that turned from frigid dry cold to scorching dry heat. There were some seasons where spring never happened. Without undue guilt, I must confess: some of those springs were missed because I never looked for them. It does not matter now. Spring is here, in my heart.

Jesus, you are the springs in our lives. Help us to be more like You. John 21:25 says, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

Capture the Flag

Welcome to unseen today.  Well, the holidays have arrived. Holidays are great, but let's be honest. For those of us who live Unseen they can also be really difficult. Whether you are a caregiver or a person with disabilities, your holiday probably doesn't look like Norman Rockwell. (Of course as my child reminded me, none of the people in the Norman Rockwell picture were actually related.) There is plenty of grief, guilt, resentment, loneliness and embarrassment. People asked me how my holiday went and I put on my happy face and said "Great." when I really spent a lot of my time off  crying. Read on for a place I learned to get help.

Capture the Flag

Put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to stand your ground, and having done all to stand. Ephesians 6:13

Have you ever played the old game of Capture the Flag? You need two teams of 10 to 20 people, two flags and several hundred little bags of flour. The bags are made of napkin or paper towel so that they break easily when they hit something. The goal is to capture the other team´s flag. Team members try to advance toward the flag while keeping under protective cover. If they are spotted, the opposing team members pelt them with bags of flour. Once you are hit with flour you are dead and can no0 longer play. The first team to capture the rival flag wins. It is a great game for team building skills such as cooperation and strategy.

Personally I was never very good at the game. I am not fast and can´t think more than 3 moves ahead in a process. I was always one of the first to be killed off. The minute I popped my head up I was pelted with flour from every direction.

Sometimes my Christian life feels like that too. I start to make progress and BAM! Here comes a bag of trials. It is easy to get blindsided by a trial from a direction I don´t expect like an issue I thought I had dealt with. The last few weeks I have been bombarded with trials of illness, financial stress, strife and struggles with boundaries. However as a Christian I realize that I have a resource I never had in capture the flag. Ephesians 6 tells us this. 

   Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand        your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

I am still going to be pelted by problems, but I have hope. Jesus said in John 16:33, "In this world you shall have tribulation but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world." I may be hit with difficulties but I am not going to be Out, because I have the protection I need if I learn to use it. Practice with your weapons this week and put on your armor.