Gold Stars in My Crown

Welcome to Unseen. Do you have a problem with perfectionism? Boy, I do. I want approval and I prefer to have approval for doing things perfectly. Read on for what i learned about taming this tendency.

Gold Stars in My Crown?

Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor's crown. Revelation 2:10

I have a confession to make. I love gold stars. It started early, probably even before school days. I am a middle child between two very strong personalities and I often felt overlooked. Seeing all the stickers on my chart in Sunday school gave me a good feeling, and people praised me for it, which gave me an even better feeling. School, being performance driven, fed that hunger for success and affirmation. Now there were not just stickers in my book. There were smiley faces on my papers. (My favorites were the ones where the teacher turned the zeroes from 100's into eyes and drew a smile underneath.)  There were poems and stories that I had written displayed on the bulletin board at open house. Then there were certificates and award ceremonies for academic achievements and perfect attendance. Choir was great, because it was fun and I could excel and get recognition. Track wasn't fun, but winning was!

There is nothing wrong with seeking approval and affirmation. The problem was that I carried it into every area of life and I really haven't tamed it very well. I was unreasonably happy when my supervisor put smiley faces on work that she proofread. I am doing a fitness challenge at work and yes, we actually get gold stars on our computer. I am using a Bible study app that lets you earn badges for reaching milestones. I love checking my e-mail and seeing that I have earned a new badge. The bigger problem comes when I start using this logic in my Christian life. Do I have perfect attendance at church? How many people have I led to the Lord? Have I missed a week writing my blog? Am I doing enough for God? It's not that I don't know "by grace we have been saved through faith, not through works lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:8) I am not trying to win God's approval, although that has been true in the past. I truly want to do as much as I can for God because of all he has done for me. It is really hard to remember that following Jesus is not about performance but about relationship. Paul described it this way in Galatians 3:23-25.

But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed. Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.

When we are engaging in thankless service we often say to each other, "There will be stars in you crown." This is a nice thought but it does not tell the whole story. In Revelation 2, Jesus tells the church in Smyrna Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor's crown. Revelation 2:10. In Revelation 4, though, we read a description of a scene in heaven. The four living creatures and the elders are circling the throne singing, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is and is to come." Even writing these words sends chills through me.  Then look what happens. They lay their crowns at Jesus feet. To me it shows that everything that they have accomplished for God is overshadowed by Jesus and what he has done. They feel no need for the symbol of their accomplishments. 

I need to tame my inner "box-checker"! My salvation is not dependent on what I can do for God. He promises us that he knows the things done in secret and that he will complete a good work in us. We would be happier and probably more effective if we rely more on his grace and his power than working so hard to do for him. Many times I have asked God what he wants me to do, and in my spirit I hear, "I want you to just be today." Maybe he is saying the same thing to you.

Today was a bad day! from Paul Mathis

Thank you, thank you Paul for pinch hitting this week. Today is the first day I have not felt like $#@~!!!. Paul has some wisdom for "Bad Days"

Some days, I just want it to stop.

I don’t want to have to keep putting in so much effort.

Life is hard and I don’t always think I am up to the challenge.

Some mornings, it is such an effort to get out of bed because I know I am just going to have the face the same challenges I faced yesterday. If I have already worked so hard, why do I have to keep working? If I have put so much effort into this already, why can’t I see a payoff?

And I don’t always feel like I can tell anyone.

Because, after all, I’m the guy with sobriety time. I’m the guy who leads recovery groups. I’m the guy who’s almost 40, married 17 years with 3 kids. I’m the guy who helps teach people how to discover their talents and abilities and find work. I’m the guy who leads small groups for middle schoolers, high schoolers, and adults.

So who can I tell?

I can’t show any weakness. I need to be strong. And also, won’t all these things just go away if only I have enough faith? Pray hard enough? Do more churchy stuff?

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One of the worst things about feeling that way is that we convince ourselves we cannot talk about it.

Feeling tired, feeling overwhelmed, feeling depressed is not strange. It is not sinful. It is not wrong. It happens.

And pretending it doesn’t makes it worse.

We need to create more space to talk about our difficult days. The more we talk, the less strange it seems. More than that, when we talk about it more, we realize that we are not alone in our struggle. So many of us have thought we are the only ones who feel depressed, lonely, anxious, or just sad.

But we are not. So many others have experienced the same things. When we isolate, our experience only gets worse. And isolating does something else: it allows us to convince ourselves that we are the only ones who struggle. Because when everyone is isolating, no one is sharing.

One of the most powerful, startling, and profound realizations anyone can have is, “I am not alone.” I find out I am not alone when someone has the courage to speak up and say they go through the same things I go through. Other people find out they are not alone when I muster up enough courage to speak up on my own behalf.

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Treating it like sin or weakness makes it worse.

Burdens

Welcome to unseen. Enjoy todays story about casting our cares on Jesus and look forward to a guest spot from Paul Mathis next week since I will be  having surgery Monday.

Burdens

Cast all your cares on him for he cares for you. 1 Pet 5:7

Once there was a young man who loved climbing. He was one of those toddlers who scale bookcases and became a preteen who climbed trees, then a teenager who climbed on the roof. Mountain climbing was a more appropriate use for these skills so he learned on the mountains nearby. He loved the feeling of accomplishment and the excitement of looking down at the world. For graduation, his father paid for a trip in the Himalayas. He hired a Sherpa for a guide and a llama for a pack animal. The young man showed up at base camp ready to go. He had a huge pack, a sleeping bag, canteen and safety equipment. The Sherpa instructed him to load his gear on the llama, but the young man refused, saying he was capable of carrying it himself. The started the climb and the young man quickly got tired. Again the Sherpa told him to let the llama carry his gear, but the young man refused saying the llama might not be strong enough and he might lose some of his gear. After an hour he grudgingly put his canteen on the llama but insisted he was fine with the rest. After another hour he said “I wish I could put the rest of my gear on the llama, but I am just not worthy” He put  his sleeping bag on the llama but insisted on keeping the heavy pack, saying it was too much for the poor animal to have to carry. The Sherpa explained that the animals are trained from an early age and are strong and sure footed. They climbed a while longer and the going was easier but as the air got thinner, it was harder to carry the pack. Again the Sherpa begged him to put the rest of his burdens on the animal, but  he complained that it was too expensive. The Sherpa shook his head and told the boy that the price was already paid for the llama to carry his things for him. The boy slipped gratefully out of the heavy pack and put it on the llama. He was able to make the rest of the journey with greater ease and enjoyment.

What would you have told the young man? How silly to refuse a gift and insist on carrying his own burdens. Does he sound like anyone we know, though? What kinds of excuses (I’m sorry. I meant good reasons.) do we use for not casting our cares on Jesus?  I would expect they are the same ones that the young man used. We are capable of handling it ourselves. It might not be safe to accept help. We are not worthy. It is too expensive. We might let him carry some of  our burdens but hold tightly to others out of either shame or pride. Jesus came specifically to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He came willingly and he paid the price already. We can let go of our fears, our shame and our desperate need to protect ourselves.

Jesus described this as taking his yoke upon us, ….. and we shall find rest. (Matt 11:29) Psalms 68:9 says Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens 1 Peter 5:7 says cast your cares upon you for he cares for you. Matthew 6 tells us about the dangers of worry.

Take the plunge and have the faith to give your burdens over to the Lord. The rest of your climb will be easier and more enjoyable.