Gold Stars in My
Crown?
Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you
life as your victor's crown. Revelation 2:10
I have a confession to make. I love gold stars. It started
early, probably even before school days. I am a middle child between two very
strong personalities and I often felt overlooked. Seeing all the stickers on my
chart in Sunday school gave me a good feeling, and people praised me for it,
which gave me an even better feeling. School, being performance driven, fed
that hunger for success and affirmation. Now there were not just stickers in my
book. There were smiley faces on my papers. (My favorites were the ones where
the teacher turned the zeroes from 100's into eyes and drew a smile
underneath.) There were poems and stories
that I had written displayed on the bulletin board at open house. Then there
were certificates and award ceremonies for academic achievements and perfect
attendance. Choir was great, because it was fun and I could excel and get
recognition. Track wasn't fun, but winning was!
There is nothing wrong with seeking approval and
affirmation. The problem was that I carried it into every area of life and I
really haven't tamed it very well. I was unreasonably happy when my supervisor
put smiley faces on work that she proofread. I am doing a fitness challenge at
work and yes, we actually get gold stars on our computer. I am using a Bible
study app that lets you earn badges for reaching milestones. I love checking my
e-mail and seeing that I have earned a new badge. The bigger problem comes when
I start using this logic in my Christian life. Do I have perfect attendance at
church? How many people have I led to the Lord? Have I missed a week writing my
blog? Am I doing enough for God? It's not that I don't know "by grace we
have been saved through faith, not through works lest any man should
boast." (Ephesians 2:8) I am not trying to win God's approval, although
that has been true in the past. I truly want to do as much as I can for God
because of all he has done for me. It is really hard to remember that following
Jesus is not about performance but about relationship. Paul described it this
way in Galatians 3:23-25.
But before faith came, we were kept
in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be
revealed. Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we
may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under
a tutor.
When we are engaging in thankless service we often say to
each other, "There will be stars in you crown." This is a nice
thought but it does not tell the whole story. In Revelation 2, Jesus tells the
church in Smyrna Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you
life as your victor's crown. Revelation 2:10. In Revelation 4, though, we read
a description of a scene in heaven. The four living creatures and the elders
are circling the throne singing, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God
almighty who was and is and is to come." Even writing these words sends
chills through me. Then look what
happens. They lay their crowns at Jesus feet. To me it shows that everything
that they have accomplished for God is overshadowed by Jesus and what he has
done. They feel no need for the symbol of their accomplishments.
I need to tame my inner "box-checker"! My
salvation is not dependent on what I can do for God. He promises us that he
knows the things done in secret and that he will complete a good work in us. We
would be happier and probably more effective if we rely more on his grace and
his power than working so hard to do for him. Many times I have asked God what
he wants me to do, and in my spirit I hear, "I want you to just be
today." Maybe he is saying the same thing to you.
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