Loving Self

Our guest blogger today is Kurt Boyland. He is a counselor for FaithWorks and Highland Church. He has some wisdom about loving ourselves. Feeling unseen can sap our strength and we often neglect our own well-being. Here are some practical ideas from Kurt about how to love yourself.

Acknowledge the pain in your life. Hurt and pain permeate the cycle of life. From childhood to old age, emotional and physical pains are a dominant thread of life's fabric. Our  hearts are more like Velcro than Teflon. The pain and trials of rejection, neglect, abuse, illness, frustration and loss attach to our hearts, often implanting themselves for many many years. Aboiding, suppressing, condemning or hating the pain often cause the pain to embed deeper, only to manifest itself in a variety of unwanted and "unexplainable " behavior and habits. To love myself is to acknolege my pain from a position of gentle ness and kindness, not fear and contempt.


Honor and respect your pain. Jesus commands his followers to love our enemies. For most people in America and in Abilene, their greatest enemies are not outside but withing themselves. How often do you hear "I am my own worst enemy. In thinking about their anger, shame, pain and guilt, a lot of people react with contempt and hate. Hating parts of ourselves that Jesus died for and wants to redeem only compound the pain and suffering. To respect and honor my pain and suffering means that I regard and treat my hurt and its accompanying emotions and thoughts with the same attitude and behavior that God has for all people. God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. In other words, it's important to have a good attitude about you bad self.

Pursue truth  Truth and love are the same. To love is to be truthful and to be truthful is to love. To love myself is to be truthful with myself and others. Truth is pain's guardian. Each time I speak and act contrary to what I know to be true and just, I pour salt on my woundedness. Compromising my beliefs and values solely for the sake of a relationship puts me at greater risk of heaping more pain on my hurt and brokennoess. To speak the truth in love is to allow my brokenness and hurt to have a voice. Truth is pain's advocate. When marginalized and alienated parts are given a chance to speak, there is freedom. Maybe this can be applied to the words of Jesus "The truth will set you free". In love and truth there is freedom.

There is more to come from Kurt's wisdom next week.

Thought for the day: Lord, let us be as gracious to ourselves today as we are to others

Feedback: What makes it difficult for us to love ourselves?